Marital Dishonesty...Enough Is Enough!
Why would you choose marital dishonesty? It's simple...for convenience or to save your hide! I just want to revisit this issue, because it's so important that you get it right. There is no room in your marriage for dishonesty. You do it once, and it gets easier and easier for you to continue lying to your spouse.
As I said earlier, I have lied to my husband. And he has lied to me. The problem with lying is this...typically one is not enough. You usually have to cover that first lie with a second lie...then a third lie to cover the second one. Then you start forgetting which lie you told and when you told it. Gotcha...you're busted!
Now, I don't know you and I don't know your spouse. I can only talk to you about what I've been through and the lessons I've learned. And what I've learned about marital dishonesty is this...you won't get away with it. Sooner or later you will be caught...and it won't be pretty! It may not be today, or tomorrow, or next week or next month...but eventually your lies will find you. And it's game over.
Lying Is Easy
Let me give you an example of marital dishonesty in action. Let's say your spouse has requested the pleasure of your company at a sporting event.
But you really don't want to go...you promised yourself an evening of shopping. So you lie to your spouse and pretend to be sick. Your spouse suspects you're lying, but you swear you're telling the truth...you're really sick!
You tell your spouse to go without you..."Honey, I'd hate for you to miss this event because I'm sick". After making a few calls to some friends, your spouse leaves to make the event on time. And you spring into action, too.
You hang around the house long enough to make sure the coast is clear, then you head for the mall. You are having a great time...finding lots of good bargains and feeling carefree as you stroll from shop to shop. You even laugh to yourself as you think of how you fooled your spouse.
As you continue shopping, you're oblivious to the fact that you're being watched. Your spouse decided to stop at the mall to get you a get-well present before going to the event and spotted you...in perfect health, content to walk the entire
length of the mall going from one shop to another. Of course, your spouse is furious...how could you lie? Why did you lie?
If you didn't want to go, why didn't you just say so?
Now, remember what I said about marital dishonesty...one lie is never enough? Your spouse decides not to confront you in the mall...no, it's far better to let you play yourself.
So after conquering the mall, you return home to continue your charade. When your spouse returns home, you feign helplessness. But your spouse is not buying it. You offer up lie after lie when you're questioned about your illness or if you've been out. You wonder where the questions are coming from. Suddenly your spouse pulls out the cell phone and starts to play video footage of you...happily shopping at the mall. Busted!
I know this is a simple example, but it's based on real life experiences. The results of marital dishonesty are all the same...you always get caught in your lies, sooner or later. And your spouse loses trust in you. It doesn't matter if you lie about something as simple as whether you just blinked your eyes, or if you lie about something as complex as infidelity. Just be honest! You know right from wrong. If you're doing something that you don't feel you can tell your spouse about...don't do it!
Just Bypass All Of The Drama
Save yourself the headache of trying to rebuild trust in your marriage. It can be a pain, and it's a slow process.
Your spouse has to go through their betrayal stages...anger, hurt, anger, distrust, anger. While they're processing it all, you're being punished for putting them through it. You should at least feel guilty and you probably will have apologized for your actions a few times during this process. So now you wait...and wait.
It's just not worth it! Bypass all of that drama by being honest. Your spouse will thank you and you'll be happy.
There will be peace in your home and love in your hearts for each other. Marital dishonesty is not worth the price of your
happy home. Again, you know right from wrong. Let's do right by each other...for good. Enough of the sheisty behavior,
stop being suspect. Get your act together and be the good person you are. Not because you're forced to be good, but
because that's who you are!
Okay, we've dealt with marital dishonesty. What else can prevent you from reaching marital bliss? Unforgiveness in marriage.
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