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Marital Commitment Is Key To Maintaining Unity

mature african-american couple

Marital commitment keeps the bonds of your marriage firm and tight. You would think being committed is a no-brainer. It's rare for a person to get married with the intention to stay with their spouse for only a brief length of time. For most married couples, however, we got married with the intent to stay together forever. That means you must stay committed to your spouse to ensure peace and happiness in your marriage.

Marital commitment doesn't mean you profess your dedication to each other once and that's it. Do you really think 60 years down the road you'll still be happily in love with each other? Highly unlikey. Actually, you have to reaffirm your commitment throughout your marriage. As you go through various problems together, you will continue to let your spouse know you're dedicated to them alone and you wouldn't want to go through life with anyone else.

It's not that your spouse forgets from one day to the next. And I'm not saying you need to reaffirm yourself every day. But just like your spouse needs to hear you say "I love you", your spouse needs to know that you're still dedicated to making your marriage work. Especially when you're faced with problems that may seem insurmountable, or when you may feel the bonds of your marriage unraveling.

unsure young couple Why would your spouse doubt your resolve to stay committed to your marriage? There could be any number of reasons, but usually the main reason is an issue of trust.

Going through marital problems is stressful. Some problems, by their very nature, are more stressful than others. Let's take infidelity, for example. We already know that infidelity destroys trust from the inside out.

Not only are you maintaining a sexual relationship outside of your marriage, but you're also lying to your spouse on a consistent basis to cover it up. You're also, to some extent, financially supporting that outside relationship. When your spouse finds out, they're devastated. Not just because of the sex, but more importantly because of your lies and deceit. You took a vow to protect them, but yet you're the one causing them such hurt and pain.

It takes time for them to trust you again...if they ever can. During that time, you have to prove your marital commitment. It's almost like starting over from the dating stage...you have to prove to your spouse you're trustworthy and a person of integrity. You will need to reaffirm your dedication more often during this rebuilding stage. That means not only verbally reassuring your spouse of your commitment to them and to your life together. You must walk it out everyday...your actions must match your words!

Reestablishing Trust Is Serious Business

romantic stroll in park This is important because your spouse doesn't trust you. Initially, when you're confessing your love and dedication, you're breaking through their barrier of pain and distrust. You see, your spouse is processing their feelings and doesn't hear your proclamations of love and devotion until they've grieved their loss. So again, your spouse essentially doesn't hear you until you've broken through.

Once that happens, your spouse can begin to hear what you're saying and take into account your corresponding actions. This is when you really begin to reestablish trust. Your vows and actions of marital commitment can sink in and your spouse slowly starts to trust you again.

Now that's just one example. The point to remember is anytime problems have wreaked havoc in your marriage, reaffirmation of your commitment is necessary. But that's not the only time when you can let your spouse know that they're the only one for you.

Don't be afraid to treat your spouse to random acts of attention. Call them when you're sitting in traffic just to say how much you appreciate and love them for loving you unconditionally. That goes a long way in keeping those marital bonds tight.

It's not hard to stay committed. It's all about making choices that protect your marriage. And it's also about not being ashamed or afraid to tell your spouse you're committed. Your spouse IS human...I can't think of a single human being who doesn't like being told how important they are. Put your pride aside...your spouse needs to hear those words from you.

Sometimes, despite how much you reaffirm your marital commitment, your marriage may show more than the usual signs of wear and tear. Incompatibility in marriage can strain your relationship beyond the ability of repair.

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