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Marital Affairs...Supreme Acts Of Selfishness

caught in the act

Marital affairs are still the leading cause of divorce today. Why are we, as a society, plagued with so much marriage infidelity? In times past, if there was an unfaithful spouse, it was always the husband. Today, however, more and more women are unfaithful in their marriages. Why?

I can't possibly sum up all the reasons people give for cheating on their spouses. To me, it seems that all the excuses they give can be summed up in one word...selfishness. I don't care what the excuse is, it's a selfish nature and a flawed character that drive you to cheat on your spouse.

Marital affairs are not simply about sex. They can't possibly be. Sure, sex is a component. But you can already have sex whenever you want...you're married. No, it's not that simple.

Marital affairs are about you not wanting to control your body, your urges. You act without regard for your spouse, your family...without regard for anything except satisfying your base desires. That sounds like a selfish person, right?

Bad Decisions Lead To A Bad Marriage

man cheating on wife with her bestfriend Let's define selfish. According to Dictionary.com, selfish means "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others." There you have the driving force behind marital affairs. Plain and simple. And it all boils down to a choice you make.

You make countless choices everyday. You also face dilemmas in your marriage that require you to make decisions. And make no mistake...each choice or decision you make has consequences, either good or bad.

You are where you are today because of the choices you've made in the past. The same principle applies to your marriage...you're going through the things you're going through now because of the decisions you've made.

If you have a good marriage, you've made good choices that have protected and nourished your relationship. If you have a bad marriage, you've made bad choices that have opened it up to division and strife. For instance, if you've chosen to honor your vows and remain faithful to your spouse, you're enjoying a good marriage and a tight bond with your mate.

You're happy because your spouse trusts you unconditionally and feels secure in the relationship. When your spouse feels secure, they open up to you and you get to see and experience every beautiful aspect of their personality. They lose their inhibitions and insecurities because you've shown that you love, value and protect them and your life together.

cheating couple Now, the reverse can be said if you've chosen to dishonor your vows...if you've chosen to participate in marital affairs. You're reaping a bad marriage that's full of tension. You're miserable because your spouse doesn't trust you and questions your every move.

Even if they never say they don't trust you, you KNOW they don't because you can see it in their eyes and tell it from their body language. They don't open up to you...they erect emotional walls to protect their vulnerable feelings. They're accusatory at the slightest provocation.

You didn't protect them, you didn't honor and respect them. Now you don't talk to each other...only arguing as a means of communication. If neither of you addresses the real problem, your marriage will disintegrate until you both find yourselves alone...bitter...trying to put the pieces of your now separate lives back together so you can each start over and rebuild.

Pain Is Pain...No Matter How You Try To Justify It

temptation Some of you may be wondering, "Why are marital affairs so bad? It was just a one-night stand." They are so bad because they corrupt and destroy at a spiritual level. I know I've explained this before, but here it is again.

When woman was created, she was created with substance from the man. And she was created for the man. That's why we men and women long to find someone to fill that void we each have. So we can be complete and whole once again. But it's on a spiritual level...that completeness and oneness.

Think about it...think about your relationship both before and after sex was introduced. After intercourse, you settled into each other...almost like when you settle into your favorite sofa or chair. You had a sense of being fulfilled, of being complete. Why?

Because through the physical act of intercourse, your spirits connected and joined to create one spiritual being...one body, making you complete and whole again. That's why you feel safe and secure in the relationship now...there's a new level of commitment. That commitment was designed to be eternal and exclusive...between you and your spouse only.

the forbidden kiss With marital affairs, you've now created connections with persons outside of your exclusive union. You've allowed other people into the inner sanctum of your being...you've violated the covenant between you and your spouse. Instead of one union (one complete spiritual body), you've made ...two, three, four, five unions.

Now physically, it's impossible for you to have two or more bodies walking around. But essentially that's what you've accomplished spiritually by having sex outside of the confines of your marriage. That's why your spouse can tell when things are amiss. Your spiritual union has been broken, torn apart. And that's why the reality of infidelity is so painful. Imagine having your arm ripped off of your body. Infidelity is the ripping apart of your spiritual body. And it's not any less painful.

Why would you want to do that? It all starts with a simple choice...to either remain faithful and trustworthy or to be unfaithful and untrustworthy. And contrary to popular belief, NOTHING JUST HAPPENS! You know when someone's flirting with you, making inappropriate suggestions. You have a crucial moment right then...you either choose to stop it or you choose to go along with it.

Emotional Infidelity...Just As Deadly

the office affair What's the harm in it, you say? The harm is the more you enjoy talking to that person, the more you start to think about that person. The more you think about that person, the more you want to spend time with that person.

The more time you spend with that person, the more you want to have sex with that person. You've already committed the sex act in your mind...now, you want to make it a reality.

It all started with a choice you made...because of your selfishness you never stopped to think about the serious consequences your actions would bring. But you know full well when you're crossing the line...is it worth losing your spouse over? Are marital affairs worth losing everything you've worked for? No, they're not.

Right now, if you're in a situation that has the potential of destroying your marriage, RUN FROM IT!! Decide to be a person of integrity and good character...own up to your mistake-yes, confess to your spouse...renew your vows to your spouse...make choices that protect and honor your marriage and family.

Don't take the risk...you must set boundaries! And don't make choices that put you in compromising situations. Uphold your marriage with pride and dignity...let everyone know you're dedicated and committed to your spouse and reap the rewards of a happy marriage.

Now, let's look at what part marital deception has to play in preventing you from reaching marital bliss.

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