Incompatibility In Marriage Can Be The Beginning Of The End For Your Relationship
Why would you willingly enter into an incompatible marriage? Well, there are three major reasons:
Pressure From Your ParentsThe first major reason is pressure to please your parents or other family members. You'd been dating your significant other for a couple of years, and you really liked them. You had a good time together but you didn't love them.Your parents, however, adored them and were constantly telling you to marry them. You know how they did it..."What's wrong with you? You're not going find another one like them." So, you grew weary of the constant badgering and said "Yes" to the marriage proposal. I know parents can put a lot of pressure on you, but that's not a good reason to settle for incompatibility in marriage. It probably wouldn't have been the first time you'd disappointed your parents. Sure, you're comfortable in your marriage, but you long for something more...love. Pressure From Your Internal Clock
Another reason why you may have settled for an incompatible marriage is age...as in you're getting older. You may see your list of potential 'marriage prospects' dwindling. Your age is doubly at the forefront of your mind if you're a woman desiring to have children.So your internal clock put pressure on you. You felt hopeless, especially if all of your friends had already gotten married. You decided, "The first one to pop the question wins the prize!" but you were in panic mode. You married, had an elaborate wedding...but you're not happy. You think, "Married life is not all it's cracked up to be". But it's not married life in general. The truth is, it's only your married life. You feel trapped...you have your child's welfare to think about now. Or if you have not had children yet, you're afraid of being the first of your friends to be divorced. As you can see, allowing your internal clock to dictate who you marry is not a good reason to settle for incompatibility in marriage. Financial Pressure
Another common reason to settle down with someone you don't love is for money. Everyone wants to be financially secure or wealthy. You may have had a job where, on your own, it just wasn't going to happen.So you jumped at the first opportunity to wed the money instead! Now that your bills are paid, you realize you don't have much in common with your spouse. You love spending the money, but you don't love them. Again, not a good reason to settle for incompatibility in marriage. Because you compromised yourself, you're in a marriage with a spouse you don't love. But all is not lost. Undoubtedly, your spouse loves you and wants to be with you. If you haven't tried to love them, what are you waiting for? If they're not a scoundrel or a low-life cheat...there is hope. I would suggest you start by being honest with your spouse. They can probably tell you're not happy but is unsure why. If your spouse has done everything to make you happy, you need to try to be happy. Give them your all, because you know you really haven't up to this point. Love will probably develop out of a deep respect and admiration for your spouse. At least you have a loving spouse to be thankful for and to work with.
But if your spouse doesn't love you either and you're unhappy beyond repair, then you probably won't recover from your incompatibility in marriage.I would still suggest you talk to each other to determine your best course of action. You need to come to a mutual agreement on this one. As much as I'm an advocate for marriage, I understand the need for you to be happy to make the marriage work. So don't punish yourselves. Do what you need to do. Just learn from your experience, though. Continue to love life and you'll get a second chance at happiness. Okay, you want to reach marital bliss, right? Marital dishonesty will keep you from getting there. Return from Incompatibility In Marriage to Marriage Issues
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